Four AM
by Bluejay141519
Summary: A bunch of short, random drabbles from my collection. All focused on Jay, with a lot of whump. See inside for more details.
1. Opening

**Okay so a few things right of the bat-**

 **I have about thirty or so random pieces of stories sitting on my computer. Seeing as it takes me a solid five months just write a oneshot, the odds of these appearing as stories are slim. Therefore, after some encouragement from Bubbly88Tay, I've decided to post them for all to read (because in her words, its a damn shame that no one would ever get to read them).**

 **I call them Blocks (because they like a building block of a story). I will try to post them as much as I remember them and can find them.**

 **RULES AND WARNINGS:**

 **I am not stupid, nor am I naive. I've already had problems with people stealing my stories, so allow me to make this clear: If you steal my shit, not only will I find out, but I stg, I will bring a whole mess of trouble to your door step.**

 **I mean it. It's not nice, it doesn't make you a good writer, and it sure as hell doesn't make you a decent person. I really, really hate plagiarism. As does Fanfiction, as does AO3 as does everyone.**

 **That said-**

 **1- No taking stories without permission. If you ask me (PM) and say hey, I was wondering if I could use this piece or use this dialog or idea, and I say yes, then obviously I have no problem with it. If you do so without asking, see above warning.**

 **2- If you really like a particular Idea, you can request it be made into a full story. It can be in a review or PM, but either way if you really want something done cuz you like it, let me know! I'll definitely move it into line.**

 **3- Please don't be nasty. Some of these are from when I just started writing and maybe aren't very good. I'm sorry about it but they're all part of my learning process. I can't say I'll try not to post the bad ones, bc I'll be posting these when I'm too busy to write and I feel like it's been long between posts and shit.**

 **4- These are unbeta's, have error mistakes, and may be out of character. Again, learning process. Random ideas and such.**

 **5- A lot of these are incomplete and are a bit chunky.**

 **Other than that, please feel free to leave reviews! I'd love to know what you think about them!**


	2. One

**Here we go! Hope you like them. (remember please that a lot of these are incomplete.) Dont be afraid to leave a review if you like it!**

 **Case anyone asks, he has a daughter in this one, and there was car accident.**

* * *

 **Rhodes POV**

"This is dad, found unresponsive and tachycardic, lost him in the ambo not even two minutes ago. Tension pneumothorax on the right side, severe head trauma, limited reflexive response. Pushed .5 of verapamil, no effect."

"Rhodes take him to Baghdad!" Steeling myself I snag the gurney and pull them around the corner.

"Hold compressions, transfer on my count, one, two, _three-_ " Jay doesn't so much as flinch as he's moved, eyes staying firmly shut. Not that one would expect much, seeing as he is clinically dead, but still, it's unnerving.

"Start compressions!" My pen light flashes across dilated pupils, absolutely no reaction coming from either. The black iris is so enlarged you can barely see any color surrounding it.

"Still no pulse."

"Charge 270! Clear" The paddles are charged nearly instantly, and the paramedic who was doing compressions disappears to allow me to jump his heart. The monitor beeps for a second, his body jolts, then the alarms continue, and the green line goes straight across the screen.

"Charge 360!"

"Charging."

" _Clear_!"

"Still nothing." I drop the paddles, moving to take over compressions.

"Push one of epi!"

"Come on Jay, come _on_." Still nothing. His body continues to rock underneath my hands, face lax and pale, making the blood splattered across it seem almost black.

"You said you didn't want maddie to grow up fatherless, fucking prove it."

"Doctor it's been twenty minutes, make a decision."

"Push another epi."

"Rhodes he's already had six-"

…

"DO IT!" I yell, harsher than intended but this can't be happening, this can't be, I can't walk out there and tell that little girl that I couldn't save her daddy, I can't tell Will that I couldn't save his brother. I _can't_ -

"Doctor!"

"I have a pulse!"

"Ah, fuck _me_." I curse under my breath, loud enough that the nurses give me a tentative smile.


	3. Two

**Okay so I wasn't going to post another so soon but something happened that I need to address and I want everyone who gets this notification to be able to read something. You don't have to read below, because, to the guest who reviewed, you know exactly who you are and why I'm making this response out to you.**

 **Should any of you want to know what's going on, feel free to go look at the reviews on this story. Since he/she posted it publicly, I'm sure they won't mind you knowing what they said.**

 **I wish to explain myself a little as well as ask a few things, and I'm a little confused by your animosity and cowardice. Most certainly because someone who feels so strongly about that would actually sign in to review so that I may properly understand why you're angry and we could have a conversation like humans.**

 **And also because the only people who could, should, or (would) get angry/ offended by my opening, are people who were either already going to take my writing, or people who were planning to.**

 **So. You can ask the fifteen people who I talked to before posting this. In response to your first review: I have taken a breath. Several actually. In fact, I even took the time to wait five hours before responding, and I talked to several people about what I should say and do. Believe me when I say that I am in the best state of mind to respond to your review, and as you can notice, my response to you could be very, very nasty, but isn't. I had several people urging me to make it so. But I won't, because I refuse to drop down to your level.**

 **To the people reading this, I wrote that opening message from a place of emotion. Writing, to me, is a stress reliever, and an activity I enjoy. It's taken me a long time to gain confidence enough to post, and even longer still to believe all the wonderful reviews left by people. My work has been stolen before, and yes, I was very angry, outraged, and hurt by it. This emotion did definitely have a part in fueling my words.**

 **However. I meant every word I said. I won't take down this story or any of my other ones. I won't back down from defending my right to keep my work as my own, to use it as I see fit. If you don't like my work, no one is forcing you to read it. You take more time and energy just getting angry and posting petty reviews, than you would just simply clicking out of my work.**

 **And (because I actually started laughing at this) you told me I was being dramatic by "threatening" people over my work, then, when you review to tell me how much you hated it, you " threatened" me back. Proud of your use of irony there.**

 **Toodles.**

 **everyone who has no idea what's going on: Enjoy! Another big one shot will be posted soon I promise. ;)**

 **Also this ones kinda old and I don't like it but I promised myself I wouldn't discriminate. lol.**

 **Jay's POV**

We are just past the green stop light when it happens. Erin is solely focused on the car in front of her, she doesn't see the truck barreling towards us from the left side. But I do.

"Erin-" I gasp before-

...

 **Dawson's pov**

Voight slams on the breaks, both of us watching in pure horror as a unloaded semi slams into the side of Jay and Erin's vehicle. The car crumples and slides, I'm pretty sure the only thing stopping it from rolling over is when the back end hits a telephone pole. Somehow, ironically, both our car and theirs comes to a complete stop at the same time.

We don't wait, all four of us making the fastest exit from a car in history. As we run I hear Olinski tell Atwater to check to the driver of the truck, the rest of us converging on the totaled grey Buick. Ruzek's already radioing for an ambulance and squad company, but one look at the occupants and I know that the difference between them living and dying is going to be what we do right now.

I look squarely at Voight.

"We can't wait." He nods, his face set with determination and worry.

"Wasn't going to." He responds, then brushes past me, having to go around the opposite side of the car as the truck t-boned in the driver's side preventing him from reaching Erin. The rest of us follow, although only Ruzek stats with me once we reach Jays seat. Olinski follows to help with Lindsay, Atwater calling out that the truck driver didn't survive.

I crouch down by the shattered passenger side glass, giving both occupants a once over. Erin, surprisingly, is stirring under the voices of her teammates, and while her left arm looks pretty mangled, there are no other injuries that I could see. I'm going to guess after an impact like that though, they both are going have at least _some_ internal injuries.

My gaze flits back to Halstead, whom despite being on the opposite side of the impact, actually seems worse off. Blood is flowing from a couple of nasty gashes on his head, it's not really surprising he's unconscious, completely oblivious to Adams frantic calls of his name. It's not until my fingers push against his neck and I can't feel any steady thrum that would indicate a heartbeat that I realize _exactly_ how much worse he is.

"Al!" I yell out. He rounds the car, leaving Kevin to help Voight pull a now fully conscious Erin out the window.

"How is he?" Olinski asks breathlessly. I shake my head, eyes wide.

"I can't find a pulse." I whisper. Ruzeks eyes widen, but he jumps to help the moment the decision is made to pull him from the car. Carefully, ever so carefully, I reach over him, jiggling his belt buckle until it releases. Instructing Adam to grab Jays head, Alvin and I manage to maneuver him through the window. Erin, who looks like the only reason she's standing is Voights arm around her shoulders, gives a loose cry as we pull her partners limp body through the shattered window frame.

Gently placing him on the ground, I press my ear to his chest, hoping maybe I was wrong. I am not.

...

When I open my eyes I'm not in the car, I'm not even on the same street. I am in Chicago however, or maybe just outside of it, the cities skyline floating behind me. There are voices, muffled sounds echoing across the pier. A warehouse stands in front of me, cops of all statu run past me, different guns raised. Their mouth move, but no distinguishable sound comes from them. I think they maybe yelling, but at who? There is not one coming from the building, only cops running into and out of it, no criminals with them.

"Jay!" The voice sounds like Dawson, but when I turn it's not Antonio its...

" _Jules?!"_ The blond detective stares at me in surprise.

"What are you doing here?!" She yells, raising her voice in something like anger.

"I-I don't know, I was with Erin then we-"

"Hey, Wilhite! Let's go!" Another achingly familiar voice echoes in my ears and I have to force myself to turn towards the footsteps

"C'mon Jules we gotta go." _Impossible..._

"Nadia?" I whisper, my voice hoarse. Just like Jules there she is, but instead of her normal simple civilian clothing, she's staring there with a hand on her holstered weapon, standing feet apart in a beat cops uniform. She smiles at me, although, it's a sad sort of smile.

"Hi Jay. How'd you get here?"

"I don't really know." I think that's my first clue. Something clicks in my brain, some memory within a memory and suddenly I know exactly where I am. It must show on my face because Nadia laughs.

"Whip the surprised look of your face Jay, it took me a lot longer to figure it out." Confused I turn back to Jules, who has a look of relief on her face. She smiles at me as the wind starts to pick up, gathering faster and faster until it's roaring in my ears.

"Tell Antonio I sat hi!" She yells out, this time to beat the wailing of the movement of air. If possible it picks up more, until I can't even keep my eyes open as the sharpness of the wind is making my eyes burn. Then I'm sliding and twisting, the ground suddenly falling away so it's like I'm floating in darkness.

"Jules!" I call out, fear and confusion clouding my brain. The blackness takes me for the second time that day, cutting off my thoughts before I can finish thinking them.

...back to Dawson

"Damn it Jay _breathe!"_ I yell from my position above him, my breathing heavy from having to perform CPR on Halstead's chest for the last ten minutes. Erin is crying quietly behind me, crushing her face into Voights chest, repeatedly whispering the words "I'm sorry" over and over like a mantra. They're sitting on the ground now, crouched on the curb beside the totaled car.

Suddenly the body underneath me jerks slightly, a sound passing his lips as finally, _finally_ Halstead takes a breath of his own. Sitting back, I kneel towards his head. The breath he took flows back last his lips, forming a name. One I really hope I heard mistakenly. Although I'm thinking I have bigger problems as Jay fails to take another breath. Adam, who was sitting next to me sees this, and while I fall back in defeat, maybe blaming the whole thing on imagination.

I watch as anger covers Ruzek's face. He lets out a yell before slamming his fist down on Halstead's sternum. I watch in amazement as suddenly Jay takes a huge gasping breath, his eyes snapping open.

"Jay!" I just about cry in relief, spring forward again along with Al and his partner.

"Oh god Halstead-" Ruzek chokes out, holding his shoulders against the pavement to keep the man from moving, an unusual amount of emotion in his voice.


	4. Three

**Hey all, I just started college and its been...extremely overwhelming and scary and stressful. But since I finally worked up the courage to open docs, I felt I should give you something.**

 **Again, these are not edited or beta'd, and do start in the middle of perilous situations...**

* * *

 **Jay**

"No! No please, you don't understand, he's down there, he's-" my sentence is cut off as a sob rips it's way through my body. The gaping hole that used to be part of Chicago med looms less than three feet in front if me, and j have every intention of going down there to reach him, to _save him._

 _"Will!"_ I scream, my body twisting with pure emotional agony. Because my brother, _my_ brother, is down there and they won't let me help him. My feet push against the floors body pulling, staring to break free of the iron hold Olinski and Antonio have on me. They're taking me, dragging me away from the edge. Their voices bombard my ears as if I care to listen.

"Jay, stop-"

"Halstead, you need to calm down, you got hurt okay, you need to-" I don't let them finish, pushing my body harder, trying to further my progress toward the hole, thinking if I just get down there, I can _find him_ I can-

"Halstead, _stop!_ "

"NO!" I scream again and this time I can't stop, because maybe if they just _understood,_ they'd let me _go._

" _PLEASE!"_ I sob harder as more hands wrap around my torso and start pulling me back, the third person the tipping point for power in this struggle.

" _PLEASE HE'S DOWN THERE I CANT LEAVE HIM HES-"_ That's as far as if get before a sharp pain explodes behind my eyes. The last I remember is my legs crumpling and landing on something soft.

Then nothing at all.

* * *

 **Ruzek's P.O.V**

"Alright, go get Jay and them and we can go." I nod an acknowledge meant to Voight and have turned to walk forward when suddenly the ground pitches beneath my feet. A deafening 'phoom' echoes in the hallway followed by a clogs of smock racking down the hallway. Coughing I sit up, not remembering when exactly I fell. There's a hand on my shoulder, shaking me. A voice pierces the ringing in my ears. Voight.

"-ou okay?"

"Yeah, you?" I think I was yelling, but my voice seems so muffled to my ears, it's hard to tell. He nods.

"I'm going to go find Erin, you go see if you can find Al or Antonio!" I cough out something of a response, scrambling to my feet and running down the hall. Pieces of the ceiling have fallen, lights flickering on and off, while others spark up into the flammable ceiling. People are running, screams and moans of pain abundant in the narrow passageway. I call out add move, helping people up and pushing them back the way I came. None of my comrades answer my calls, although not many people are injured, which gives me hope.

The dust gets thicker the further down the hall I get, until suddenly there isn't even a hallway. Just a huge gaping hole, concrete and metal pulled at the bottom. It looks almost identical to the bomb from a year ago, except this one has more of a circular opening, making me believe the bomb might have actually been _in_ the hospital instead of outside.

My stomach flips as I gaze at the wreckage. _If they're down there..._ Shaking my head I refuse to finish the thought, instead moving right where a wall used to bomb essentially created a sinkhole, enveloping the end of almost every hallway. I'm just picking my way through some room that's half collapsed,when I hear the scream.

" _Will!"_ The voice sound hauntingly like Jay, but it's not alone. As I speed up my progress forward, I can hear two more voices, ones I identify as Dawson and my partner. Achingly relief at their voices pushes me forward with even more vigor. Finally I slam through a heavy wooden door that I think used to open up to a supply room, but is now just a huge concrete slam of nothing.

Well. Nothing but a few empty shelves, some wrapped medical stuff and you know, Jay Halstead two feet from the edge of certain death.

And it's not for lack of trying that he isn't already over the edge. Where the concrete floor ends, he's being held back by both Antonio and Al, who mind you are having quite a hard time trying to restrain Jays writhing body. Jay screams again, surging forward, and changing the distance from two feet to one.

His scream snaps me out of my shock and I sprint forward, but carefully, giving myself enough space to stop. Once I'm close enough I wrap my arms around his torso, flinching slightly when I feel something warm and sticky coat my fingers. Giving a heave, my feet start to scramble backwards and together the three of us drag him back from the edge.

However he's still screaming and thrashing in our grasp and before I can even process the action, Al has somehow managed to pick up a rock without letting go of Halstead and proceeds to slam it into Jay's temple. He goes limp, and with nothing to counter our pulling, we all fall backwards in a heap, Halstead collapsing on top of me.

He's mumbling, this constant stream of incoherent syllables and sounds, but his eyes are definitely Closed. Breathing heavy, Antonio and Al help push Jay to the side, allowing me to scramble to my knees and help.

Apparently just because he had the strength to push successfully against two strong guys, does not mean he isn't injured.

That warm stickiness that I felt? Blood. And a lot of it, flowing a decent hole in his abdomen, caused by a small piece rebar embedded in his skin. Without thinking I reach down and yank, not realizing it mighta been a bad idea until Olinski asks me.

"What the hell Ruzek?!" He yells, quickly pressing his hands down on the now wider wound. Chucking the metal away, I use my hands gist art a search of his upper body, peeling away his shirt in search of what must be another wound that's spending blood over his shoulder.

"Well, after the rock and all, I figured making him worse off was just a general consensus." I mutter, before continuing once I inspect his chest.

"Oh man." I whisper. Dawson jerks his head up from where he was wrapping a random piece of cloth around Jay's hand (also bleeding.)

"What." He asks in dread, myself having to swallow past a lump in my throat.

"I found the, uh, the source of...everything." I lift up my hands, which are covered in blood, and tear his shirt. Olinski looks up at the same time and for a moment we all just stare.

I think I can safely say that Halsteads life didn't depend on me being able to function, I would have broken down right then and there. As it is, I could barely hold down my stomach. Even Antonio looked pretty green. He swallows then speaks, his voice hoarse.

"We need to get something to cover this. Something clean. We have to stop the bleeding." I stare incredulously at him

"Dawson, his chest-"

" _Just do it Ruzek!"_ He screams at me. I stare at him a moment longer before slowly standing and walking back through the last door I came through, going even further until I'm back at the empty hospital rooming. I start striping the sheets, slightly relieved to find them pretty clean, this room not having been exposed to much dust.

* * *

 **:) thanks for reading, pm me with any questions! (or review while logged in)**


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